Dealing with feelings

When things aren’t good at home, for example if someone is abusive, you might have lots of different feelings – such as feeling sad, scared, angry, guilty – or you might not be sure how you feel. Everyone feels something a bit different. There are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ feelings.


It can be difficult sometimes to know how to deal with what you are feeling. It’s really important to remember that you can’t always control your feelings, but you can choose what you do about them.


Next time you feel angry or sad, or another way that you don’t like, try to do something positive like:

  • Take a deep breath and count to ten
  • Talk to someone about your worries
  • Find an empty space (a field, an empty room) and shout  as loudly as you can
  • Write down how you are feeling, maybe in a diary
  • If you’re upset with someone, you can write them a letter – you don’t have to give it to them if you don’t want to
  • Draw a picture
  • Make a list of things that make you happy
  • Dress up like your favourite super hero
  • Cry
  • Play a game
  • Build a den
  • Do some sport or exercise
  • Sing or dance to your favourite tunes
  • Take a walk
  • Bake a cake
  • Read a book
  • Hang out with a friend
  • Phone or text a friend


  • Take drugs
  • Drink alcohol
  • Stop eating
  • Binge eat
  • Harm yourself
  • Skip school
  • Run away
  • Destroy property/things
  • Take out your feelings on others by being violence or abusive

You might think these things will make you feel better. They might help shut out your feelings for a while, but they won’t solve the problem and will probably make you feel even worse. You could also hurt yourself or someone else.

If you feel really bad, talk to someone you trust who can get you help.